What are effective, lasting strategies to build emotional intelligence in students?
Social and Emotional Learning (SEL): Building Emotional Intelligence with SEL Strategies That Stick
Emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ (Emotional Quotient), is a cornerstone of lifelong success - arguably as important as academic achievement. Students with high EQ can recognize and regulate their emotions, show empathy, and handle social situations with confidence. But building these skills doesn’t happen by accident. It takes intentional SEL strategies that are engaging, developmentally appropriate, and designed to stick.
From the classroom to the cafeteria, emotional intelligence can, and should, be taught at every grade level.
What Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?
Emotional intelligence includes five core competencies:
Self-awareness - recognizing your emotions and how they affect your behavior
Self-regulation - managing emotional reactions in healthy ways
Motivation - using internal drive to pursue goals and maintain a positive attitude
Empathy - understanding others’ feelings and perspectives
Social skills - navigating relationships and communication effectively
These skills help students:
Reduce stress and anxiety
Navigate peer conflict
Strengthen friendships
Collaborate in groups
Build resilience in the face of setbacks
Why EQ Should Be Taught in Every Grade
Just like reading or math, emotional intelligence must be introduced, practiced, and reinforced over time. The earlier students begin building these skills, the more naturally they carry them into adolescence and adulthood.
Let’s break it down by developmental level.
EQ-Building Strategies for Elementary School
Young students are just beginning to recognize and label their feelings. Simple, consistent routines work best.
Effective Strategies:
Emotion Word Walls: Display emotion vocabulary with visuals and examples.
Feelings Check-Ins: Use colors, emojis, or animal cards to help students express how they feel each day.
Calm Corners: Create a designated area where students can practice self-regulation with tools like sensory items, deep breathing visuals, or feelings books.
Storytime With a Twist: Pause during read-alouds to ask, “How do you think the character feels right now?” and “What would you do in their shoes?”
Repetition and modeling are key at this age. Students will mirror the emotional responses they see from adults.
EQ-Building Strategies for Middle School
Preteens often struggle with managing emotions as they navigate changing social dynamics and identity development.
Effective Strategies:
Journaling Prompts: Use SEL-themed prompts like “Describe a time you felt misunderstood” or “What do you do when you’re overwhelmed?”
Perspective-Taking Activities: Read short stories or scenarios and discuss how different people might feel and why.
Emotion Mapping: Have students identify physical, behavioral, and emotional signs of common feelings like anger or joy.
Group Challenges: Use cooperative games or problem-solving activities to build self-awareness and social skills through teamwork and reflection.
Middle schoolers benefit from safe, nonjudgmental spaces where they can explore emotions without embarrassment.
EQ-Building Strategies for High School
Teenagers crave relevance and autonomy. High school strategies should be practical, respectful, and student-driven.
Effective Strategies:
Self-Assessment Tools: Let students reflect on their emotional skills using surveys or quizzes, followed by goal-setting.
Class Discussions and Debates: Encourage civil discourse around current events, guiding students to articulate emotions and respect differing views.
Peer Mentorship: Invite older students to mentor younger ones in SEL practices, deepening their own EQ in the process.
Mindfulness and Stress Management Lessons: Teach students specific techniques like breathwork, journaling, or movement breaks to build self-regulation.
Giving teens leadership roles in SEL activities boosts both confidence and emotional competence.
Varied facial expressions representing a range of emotions students experience
How to Make These Strategies Stick
1. Consistency Over Complexity
Daily, simple practices (like check-ins or reflection prompts) are more effective than occasional deep dives.
2. Embed SEL Into Academics
Incorporate emotional reflection in writing prompts, science labs (e.g., managing frustration), or history (exploring empathy in historical contexts).
3. Use Student Voice
Ask students for feedback on SEL activities. What helps them? What feels meaningful? This creates ownership and relevance.
4. Model, Model, Model
The best way to teach emotional intelligence is to show it. Share your own moments of reflection, regulation, and empathy.
Real-Life Example: SEL That Grows with Students
At a K-12 school in Oregon, students engage in a “Feel, Deal, Heal” framework at every level. In elementary, they use puppets and picture books. In middle school, they journal and role-play. In high school, they lead wellness workshops and discuss emotional dynamics in literature and society. The language of emotional intelligence grows with them, and becomes part of the school culture.
Tools and Resources for Implementation
Second Step or CharacterStrong curriculum
Open-ended SEL card decks for morning meetings or advisory sessions
Final Thoughts
Teaching emotional intelligence isn’t about one perfect lesson, it’s about building a foundation that grows stronger over time. Whether you're guiding kindergartners through their first meltdown or coaching seniors through life after graduation, the SEL strategies you implement now will echo far into their future. When students learn how to feel, reflect, connect, and lead with empathy, they’re not just school-ready, they’re life-ready.
Want to go further?
Discover SEL Check-In & Reflection Pack — ready-to-use activities and tools for student well-being and reflection. Also featured in the Inclusive & Supportive Teaching Pack.
SEL Check-In & Reflection Pack
Why Teachers Love It: Teachers love it because it encourages meaningful student reflection, promotes well-being, and builds a positive classroom community.
Build a Caring & Inclusive Classroom - Foster belonging, support student well-being, and guide smooth transitions with this inclusive teaching resource bundle. Why Teachers Love It: Makes it easy to integrate SEL and DEI practices into everyday routines.